No matter how down or depressed I feel, I always seem to be in contact with someone else that also has a depressing story to tell. Instead of pondering my own thoughts, I’m moved to open my heart for someone else. I feel what they are saying. It’s almost as if I am taking on a part of their sorrow and pain so they don’t have to be burdened with all of it, unintentional I assure you, but it happens nonetheless.
Even if I am doing nothing more than lending an ear to someone who is bored or listening to someone who feels that they are lost within themselves, it let’s them know that they are not alone. No matter if I feel the same way too, I often lend a small bit of advice, nothing much, just something for them to ponder which helps take their minds out of darkness for a moment and into a different thought or direction.
I have been called a seeker by many people that know me (including a therapist). But I only know what I truly am because I have been the one to experience all that I have been through. I do seek answers to a lot of formidable questions, but they all involve the inner self that creates the person I am. If I had not already sought out answers to what I was experiencing, I would never have learned anything about my experiences. If I had not already experienced the things that I discuss with others, I would not understand what they are going through. It’s the sympathy, empathy syndrome, I know, but if I did not have an open mind and an open heart, I would not care anyway, which I truly do.
My purpose is to continue seeking and continue experiencing so that I might share with others and help them find at least one moments worth of peace. Will this bring me closer to the truth that I have been seeking since early childhood? I don’t know, but it did bring me closer to knowing who I am and what purpose I can serve while I am here.
Never give up hope of finding out who you are or what your purpose is. To those that put on a face for the world and yet still feel alone inside, please know that you are never alone. Give up holding on too tightly to that which you know does not represent who you are and how you feel. Let go of the head, let go of the heart, especially when you find them debating over any single issue. Instead of giving advice by telling someone what they should or should not do, just share a bit of your own life experiences and the answers you both seek, will unfold right before your eyes.
(originally written in 2006)